My family attended church this past Sunday at a new church. This was my first time in 11 years attending church. I received a post card in the mail titled "To Save a Family" and they will be having weekly sermons on various topics. Well, the first topic was "Communication". It was a VERY eye opening sermon and I am anxious to see how it transforms my life, but it's up to me to apply it to such. I wanted to give you a little of what this message was about.
The word "family" has evolved and 'modernized' just like technology. Decades ago, family was a unit that consisted of a Mother, Father, and children who spent 99% of their time together. They worked at the home together, ate meals together, and enjoyed entertainment together. Often times, "entertainment" was sitting around the fire for light and warmth while Dad would read a book to the family, often times the bible. The children would share beds to keep each other warm. Could you imagine how that would go over with our families this day in age? How would your children react if you said, "No we're not going to the movies but we're going to gather around the fire as a family while Dad reads a book." I don't think it would be received very well.
When the family was traveling to church they traveled TOGETHER, often times in a wagon going at a slow rate of speed. What did they have to keep them occupied? Each other and their conversations. The family that we know might not even travel in the same vehicle. Dad might of had to work, the teenager is at a friends house, Mom is running late or had to run an errand first. IF the family is traveling in the same vehicle there are often very few words spoken. The children have their DVD players, the teenagers have their Ipods, Mom and Dad aren't talking because of the stress of the morning routine. It's a very cold and lonely 10 minute ride to church.
Communicating with your children. The old family would talk to each other because that was all they had known, they didn't know t.v., DVR, computer, internet, cell phones, email, social networks. They had each other. We are too occupied to even take time to listen to our children much less engage in a converation with them. When our children start talking we think to ourselves, "I wonder how I can end this conversation as quickly as possible so I can get back to what I was doing." Families rarely pray together anymore.
There is a lot more to this message than what I wrote but I wanted to get to the point where it really hit home for me.
What am I doing??!! Is what I kept asking myself after church. What am I doing?! I heard very clearly, "What about Facebook? People spend hours on Facebook reading other peoples status's about their life, when really who cares?! Your own family is sitting right there while you're worried about somebody elses."
That message hit hard. I spend WAY too much time on Facebook alone let alone researching certain things that spark my interest. What am I doing? I am ultimately ignoring my family no matter how I try to convince myself otherwise "I'd go insane if it wasn't for FB, it gives me a mommy break" "Being a SAHM, my friends live in the computer" "FB gives me a well needed/deserved break from the mommy world" Although those things may be true, I am letting the most important things in my life slip by. We all say, "where does time go?" "Seems like it was yesterday" "Time flies", I'm going to make a great effort to put my time back into my family. I'm going to make a great effort talking to my children more and then making them feel like they come second to what I'm doing at the moment. I'm going to make an effort in being a FAMILY and acting like a FAMILY..not just people that live under one roof; after this message there IS a difference.
I hope you enjoyed reading this. I have contacted the church to see if I can get the sermon posted on itunes so you can hear it for yourself, it was very moving.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Each of us deserves to live in a clean home, but who's going to clean it?!
Dear Friends,
I can't change the role society has put on women any more than I can change how we were taught that we could have it all. Women have always been the caretakers of the home, but now we are also the breadwinners. I know how hard it is to juggle those roles.
But there is something that I can change in each of you. I can help you get rid of the anger and frustration that comes from living in a CHAOtic (Can't Have Anyone Over) home. We all feel that if we had more help that our homes would stay clean. Most of us can't afford a full time house keeper, if we could, we would have hired one long ago.
Each of us deserves to live in a clean home. Many of us grew up in the 60's and 70's with the women's liberation movement. Well let me tell you, I have blazed a few trails in my life for women as farmers, fisherman, county commissioners, and in small business. Yet my toilet still needs to be cleaned, dishes need to be washed and clothes have to be laundered. These things don't happen by magic, someone has to do them. Sitting around whining that you don't have any help from your family is not going to get the job done. If it does get done what example have you set for your family: A fussy mom that is never any fun. How would it be if you were single or a widow with small children? Who would you whine at then?
I get emails all the time that accuse me of telling women that they have to be slaves to their families. Our attitudes make us slaves, not the work we do. Being a slave is not at all what I teach. I train people to let go of their anger and take care of their homes in love for their family. As a result of this change in attitude; they quit nagging their family and all of a sudden the kids start helping, the husband starts picking up after himself and guess what everyone is taking care of their home together! All because the mother started setting the example in love!
Love is an amazing tool! When you can clean a toilet because you love your family; it is no longer a nasty chore! Someone has to do it! Your routines keep it from getting so dirty that it isn't that big of deal anyway! A swish and a swipe and the bathroom is clean.
Attitudes of keeping score and whose turn is it anyway go out the window! All they do is harbor resentment and anger. If I can help you to see that we can have it all and do it all just like we were told during our feminist upbringing; then you let go of the frustration, self-hatred and anger that have been holding you down. The frustration comes from not being able to get it all done and not being able to afford a housekeeper. The self-hatred invades us when we are so stressed because we can't do it all and we see others that seem to be handling it just fine and the anger takes over our hearts and souls and we start blaming others because we can't seem to have this perfect picture of home the way we were lead to believe. But we really can HAVE IT ALL if we will establish simple routines!
The problem with the feminist movement was we were taught that we deserved it and demanded that it be given to us regardless of the effort we put into it, but no one ever told us how to do it. So how did we expect our toilets to get clean? If no one did it, it was not going to get done. Then we stamped our foot like a child throwing a fit! That action gets us lots of respect doesn't it. The cry from a child that doesn't get its way falls on deaf ears. It is only when we set the example and show your family that you are not too good for honest work that you will get them to help the way you have always wanted.
For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. I know you don't believe me, but if you will step out in faith and just try on this new way of thinking, you might actually begin to see changes in your attitude and the attitudes of your family. You are going to be surprised by the reactions you get.
I want for you what I have, Peace and this peace came from letting go of destructive thinking patterns and trying something different. After all if you keep doing it the way you always have, how can you expect a change. By throwing out those attitudes and replacing them with the love, you will be lifted higher!
Are you ready to FLY?
FlyLady
I can't change the role society has put on women any more than I can change how we were taught that we could have it all. Women have always been the caretakers of the home, but now we are also the breadwinners. I know how hard it is to juggle those roles.
But there is something that I can change in each of you. I can help you get rid of the anger and frustration that comes from living in a CHAOtic (Can't Have Anyone Over) home. We all feel that if we had more help that our homes would stay clean. Most of us can't afford a full time house keeper, if we could, we would have hired one long ago.
Each of us deserves to live in a clean home. Many of us grew up in the 60's and 70's with the women's liberation movement. Well let me tell you, I have blazed a few trails in my life for women as farmers, fisherman, county commissioners, and in small business. Yet my toilet still needs to be cleaned, dishes need to be washed and clothes have to be laundered. These things don't happen by magic, someone has to do them. Sitting around whining that you don't have any help from your family is not going to get the job done. If it does get done what example have you set for your family: A fussy mom that is never any fun. How would it be if you were single or a widow with small children? Who would you whine at then?
I get emails all the time that accuse me of telling women that they have to be slaves to their families. Our attitudes make us slaves, not the work we do. Being a slave is not at all what I teach. I train people to let go of their anger and take care of their homes in love for their family. As a result of this change in attitude; they quit nagging their family and all of a sudden the kids start helping, the husband starts picking up after himself and guess what everyone is taking care of their home together! All because the mother started setting the example in love!
Love is an amazing tool! When you can clean a toilet because you love your family; it is no longer a nasty chore! Someone has to do it! Your routines keep it from getting so dirty that it isn't that big of deal anyway! A swish and a swipe and the bathroom is clean.
Attitudes of keeping score and whose turn is it anyway go out the window! All they do is harbor resentment and anger. If I can help you to see that we can have it all and do it all just like we were told during our feminist upbringing; then you let go of the frustration, self-hatred and anger that have been holding you down. The frustration comes from not being able to get it all done and not being able to afford a housekeeper. The self-hatred invades us when we are so stressed because we can't do it all and we see others that seem to be handling it just fine and the anger takes over our hearts and souls and we start blaming others because we can't seem to have this perfect picture of home the way we were lead to believe. But we really can HAVE IT ALL if we will establish simple routines!
The problem with the feminist movement was we were taught that we deserved it and demanded that it be given to us regardless of the effort we put into it, but no one ever told us how to do it. So how did we expect our toilets to get clean? If no one did it, it was not going to get done. Then we stamped our foot like a child throwing a fit! That action gets us lots of respect doesn't it. The cry from a child that doesn't get its way falls on deaf ears. It is only when we set the example and show your family that you are not too good for honest work that you will get them to help the way you have always wanted.
For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. I know you don't believe me, but if you will step out in faith and just try on this new way of thinking, you might actually begin to see changes in your attitude and the attitudes of your family. You are going to be surprised by the reactions you get.
I want for you what I have, Peace and this peace came from letting go of destructive thinking patterns and trying something different. After all if you keep doing it the way you always have, how can you expect a change. By throwing out those attitudes and replacing them with the love, you will be lifted higher!
Are you ready to FLY?
FlyLady
Friday, August 20, 2010
My husband and I have decided to TTC #5!!
I am feeling incredibly blessed to be where I am today, to have the children I have, the husband that I adore, the husband that adores me, and a roof over my head. Things could not be anymore perfect than they are except for one thing. Adding the 5th blessing to our home. We are both over joyed at having another baby, we just pray that God wants this for us as well. I have a feeling it's going to be a long bumpy road ahead of us but if God wants us to have another blessing, then he will provide. Please sprinkle us with **baby dust**.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Please, stop complaining!
If all you do is complain about your husband and kids then why did you get married and have kids? Be thankful that God has blessed you with a husband & children that will put up with you. You should WANT to care for them. Don't fail God, your husband and your children because you're stuck on the negatives, be the BEST ...positive woman you can be for your family and cherish them, don't complain about them.
Our husbands and children hear so much negativity in the outside world every single day, our home needs to be their safe haven where they can escape the negativities of everyday life. Our home needs to be different than the outside world. If you complain about picking up his socks everyday (I'm guilty), who is that really effecting?? YOU. When I complain about picking up his socks it makes me feel anxious and upset..when I just do it without complaining, the job is done and I didn't get myself worked up about it.
HERE'S A CHALLENGE - FOR ONE WHOLE WEEK YOU CAN NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT *ANYTHING*. DEPENDING ON THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE THIS COULD BE EASY OR IT COULD BE VERY DIFFICULT. COMPLAINING BRINGS EVERYONE DOWN, INCLUDING YOURSELF. SO FOR ONE WEEK, WE WILL LET GO OF THE NEGATIVITY THAT SURROUNDS OUR LIVES.
Here's a mental picture for you.... you build a beautiful sandcastle on the beach. You are in awe over the job you did building this sandcastle and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Now imagine waves starting to come onto the shore and little by little eat away at your gorgeous sandcastle. You watch your sandcastle be destroyed as each little wave comes higher and higher upon the shoreline. Pretty soon the beautiful sandcastle your poured your heart and soul into building is destroyed.
Now picture this - that sandcastle is your family/your home and the waves are the negativity and constant complaining that your family hears. You put so much time and effort into loving and building your family but everytime you complain or are negative it just keeps eating away at them until you've destroyed what you once put your heart and soul into. Think back as to why you built that sandcastle in the first place and how beautiful you thought it was and get your priorities back in order ♥
Our husbands and children hear so much negativity in the outside world every single day, our home needs to be their safe haven where they can escape the negativities of everyday life. Our home needs to be different than the outside world. If you complain about picking up his socks everyday (I'm guilty), who is that really effecting?? YOU. When I complain about picking up his socks it makes me feel anxious and upset..when I just do it without complaining, the job is done and I didn't get myself worked up about it.
HERE'S A CHALLENGE - FOR ONE WHOLE WEEK YOU CAN NOT COMPLAIN ABOUT *ANYTHING*. DEPENDING ON THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU ARE THIS COULD BE EASY OR IT COULD BE VERY DIFFICULT. COMPLAINING BRINGS EVERYONE DOWN, INCLUDING YOURSELF. SO FOR ONE WEEK, WE WILL LET GO OF THE NEGATIVITY THAT SURROUNDS OUR LIVES.
Here's a mental picture for you.... you build a beautiful sandcastle on the beach. You are in awe over the job you did building this sandcastle and pat yourself on the back for a job well done. Now imagine waves starting to come onto the shore and little by little eat away at your gorgeous sandcastle. You watch your sandcastle be destroyed as each little wave comes higher and higher upon the shoreline. Pretty soon the beautiful sandcastle your poured your heart and soul into building is destroyed.
Now picture this - that sandcastle is your family/your home and the waves are the negativity and constant complaining that your family hears. You put so much time and effort into loving and building your family but everytime you complain or are negative it just keeps eating away at them until you've destroyed what you once put your heart and soul into. Think back as to why you built that sandcastle in the first place and how beautiful you thought it was and get your priorities back in order ♥
Friday, June 11, 2010
OH MY GOODNESS!!!
I bought Phoenix and Jonah a "Home Depot Drill" from Toys R Us this morning and they have been pushing the trigger on these drills for the last hour and a half!!!! I'm going INSANE!!!! At least they're having fun and not crying but I think I'd take the crying over the drill noise at this point. Damn you, Energizer for making good batteries - they can die any minute now...really, they can..no hard feelings. I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Countdown begins.....
The countdown is upon us as we have three days left till we make our yearly trip to Missouri. Joe's parents are buried there, so we take a trip up there on Memorial Day weekend to decorate the grave and visit with his family. It's quite the adventure traveling with a 9, 7, 2 1/2, and 1 1/2 yr old. The trip up there last year could not have worked out any better. We left around 2 a.m. and they slept the ENTIRE trip and didn't wake up until we were pulling into the hotel parking lot. It's about a 9 hour trip. We'll be doing the same thing this year and leaving in the middle of the night, hopefully it goes as smoothly as it did last time...I can only hope. I've been working on getting my entire house clean this week and getting completely caught up on laundry because the last thing I wanna do is come home to a dirty house. I'm looking forward to a weekend spent with my husband and kids :)
Sunday, May 23, 2010
My poor baby Jonah
My 20 month old grabs his crotch and screams bloody murder - he does this intermittingly all day long. the "fits" normally last about 20 minutes and then stay gone for about 30 minutes or so. They did an ultrasound on his testicles, kidneys, bladder, and intestines, checked his urine for bacteria/blood, and did blood work - it's all normal! When we arrived Jonah's blood pressure was very high, it was 143/82. The nurse even rechecked it b/c she didn't believe it was right but it was the same. Right after his blood pressure was taken he started to go into the screaming fit, they come intermittingly. This one was the worst one by far! He screamed from 3:30 until 6 pm when they started the i.v. and gave him morphine. They started with 1 dose 1.6 mll of morphine and it didn't phase him, he ws still screaming so they came in and gave him another one and that one seemed to calm him down. The Dr's and Surgeons admit they have no idea what's going on as all of the tests came back normal. They even had a "meeting" to see if someone can think of something but they are all perplexed. The Dr was afraid to send us home for the pain management issue so she admitted him overnight. We are home now since for some reason he doesn't have these screaming fits while sleeping. But we still have no idea what's going on and if he starts the fit again I'm going to have to take him back him for another iv and morphine. I'm clueless about what's wrong with him and it's the hardest thing not having an answer for something like this! I've racked my brain all day wondering what could be wrong and I'm out of options. He's been doing this since Tuesday but it got really bad Thursday evening and into Friday. I brought him to the ER Friday morning and he didn't have his "fit" while we were there so they send him home with "constipation" and we were back 3 hours later.
Here's the links for the videos that I had to take to show Vanderbilt that my son was truly in pain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S6Snk0XEfw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIJquJlH4QQ
UPDATE
Saturday evening Jonah had spit up his kool-aid and today he spit up his oatmeal/kool-aid. Jonah has not spit up since he was breastfed almost a year ago. I called Jonah's surgeon to get him an appt and I spoke with the nurse and she mentioned that the surgeon might want to do exploratory surgery to look for adhesions to see if that could be the source of his pain. I'm waiting on a call from the surgeon. I just want answers, there is no way that what my baby went thru for 3 days is "normal" and all of a sudden "gone" especially now that he's starting to spit up. Something is still wrong and I have a feeling it's only a matter of time before he doubles over in pain again. He's still grabbing that area and saying "owee" but hasn't screamed since Friday.
Here's the links for the videos that I had to take to show Vanderbilt that my son was truly in pain.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S6Snk0XEfw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FIJquJlH4QQ
UPDATE
Saturday evening Jonah had spit up his kool-aid and today he spit up his oatmeal/kool-aid. Jonah has not spit up since he was breastfed almost a year ago. I called Jonah's surgeon to get him an appt and I spoke with the nurse and she mentioned that the surgeon might want to do exploratory surgery to look for adhesions to see if that could be the source of his pain. I'm waiting on a call from the surgeon. I just want answers, there is no way that what my baby went thru for 3 days is "normal" and all of a sudden "gone" especially now that he's starting to spit up. Something is still wrong and I have a feeling it's only a matter of time before he doubles over in pain again. He's still grabbing that area and saying "owee" but hasn't screamed since Friday.
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