Don't Throw Away Your Expired Coupons!!!

I am a couponer and have a giant binder full of coupon inserts from the Sunday paper and various other places. Once a month I go thru and toss all the expired coupons in the trash. Well my trash will no longer be eating those expired coupons as I stumbled across a wonderful program today.

Military familes that are stationed overseas can use these expired coupons for up to SIX MONTHS. I encourage you to mail your expired coupons to our military families. I found a wonderful website with a current list of addresses (updated monthly) that are accepting coupons. Please check this list before you mail your coupons to make sure the base is still accepting. Sometimes they get overwhelmed with all of the coupons.

Here are a couple of tips:

• What Type of Coupons... They can only accept regular manufacturer's coupons like from the newspaper inserts--NO INTERNET COUPONS OR SPECIAL "IN STORE" COUPONS--in some cases they may be able to use Internet coupons but they will be able to print them on their own so do not send any from here in the States. A few of our military families have also asked us to pass along this request, if you have time, it's also very helpful to separate the coupons into two categories, one for FOOD and one for NON-FOOD, then place them in plastic bags. This will help them with sorting for the families when they arrive at the base.
• How Long Does the Mail Take... When sending your expired grocery coupons keep in mind the time it takes to mail your coupons internationally--usually many weeks--so do try to get them sent off quickly. Of course if you know a military family personally you should probably send your coupons directly to them--if you do not you are welcome to send them to the bases we list on our site. When the coupons are received someone at the base will either distribute the coupon donations to needy families or place them in an area where they can be picked up by families at the PX or Commissary.

Here is the link to the website that updates their addresses monthly for military bases overseas, so please check here before mailing. If you are going to mail frequently you might want to bookmark this website.

Happy Mailing!!! Let's spread the value of coupons around the world.

**I'm trying to find out if the military bases in the US allow expired coupons. I'll update when I find out.

What I Have Learned Thru the Years

In the year 2002, I became a 1st time Mommy to a beautiful blue eyed 6 lb 11 oz baby girl on August 5. I learned so much through the eyes of my daughter. I learned that my life was no longer mine and that I was responsible for this human being that stole my heart. I learned that it was possible for your heart to live outside your body. I learned that I had a reason for living. I learned that the smallest things thru my eyes were the biggest things thru her eyes. I learned to be a kid all over again. I learned patience. I learned what it truly meant to love someone more than yourself. I learned the words to "Good Night Moon". I learned what pure joy and happiness was. I learned that I had lost my mind but found my heart and soul.

In the year 2003, my Mom became very ill and passed away a short time later. My Mom died May 18, 2003 at the tender age of 45 years old. At 22 years old, I learned what true heartache was. I learned to no longer trust the Lord as he obviously didn't have my best interest at heart. I learned to question my beliefs. I learned to dislike the people who would say negative things about my Mom. I learned that I had resentment towards my Mom and thought of her as selfish, after all she didn't HAVE to die. I learned alcohol does not discriminate and can and will kill. I learned to write my Mom when I wanted to pick up the phone and call her. I learned that I would NEVER be able to talk to my Mom for the rest of my life. I learned that I would not have my Mom present on my wedding day. I learned that my daughter would never be able to meet her Grandma. I learned that I would never have to repeat a joke 5 times while my Mom wrote it down because she didn't have a good memory. I learned that my Mom would live forever in my heart and soul.

In the year 2005, I became a single Mom of a beautiful 4 yr old little girl. I had my own apartment and supported her financially on my own by working 2 jobs (full-time and part-time). As hard and trying as it was I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I could do things on my own and that I didnt' need a man to support me. I learned responsibility. I learned what it meant to fall on hard times. I learned the feeling of hunger. I learned the true meaning of "your children come first". I learned how to wash my clothes in the bathtub and dry them on my balcony. I learned to no longer hang my panties out to dry as I had some freaky neighbors. I learned the feeling of pride. I learned that my daughter loved me no matter what. I learned that "I will survive"!

In the year 2006, I discovered that the man God had chosen for me has been right in front of me for the last 8 years. I learned that I didn't have to go thru my life all alone. I learned that I had someone to laugh with. I learned that it was possible for someone else to love my daughter. I learned it was possible to feel beautiful just from him looking at me. I learned the feeling of 'real' love. I learned the answer to "how do you know he's the one?". I learned the answer when I realized not only was he someone I could live with but also who I could not live without. I learned the meaning of patience, yes for the second time. lol I learned that along with the man of my dreams came a stepson. I learned the trials and tribulations of being a stepmom. I learned the hurt when I am there for him day in and day out but his Mom gets all the goodies.

In the year 2007, I became pregnant with baby #2. We were letting things happen naturally and I became pregnant about 6 months later. One night, out of the blue, I decided to take a pregnancy test. I was not due for 'mother nature' for another week but I was what they call a "pee on the stick addict". I decided to take the test just for the excitement of watching my pee move across the stick lol. Low and behold, something showed up!!! I didn't know what it was but it was something! I didn't have the package insert for the test anymore so I wasn't certain what sign meant 'positive' and what meant 'negative'. I flew out of the bathroom like a bat out of hell and sat on my husbands lap who happened to be on the computer. He wasn't certain what in the world I was doing until he watched me type in "ept pregnancy test results". It was all over from there. To the store we went where I spent $50 on additional pregnancy tests for them to all say positive. I learned that I was scared! I learned that I was happy! I learned that I was resentful. I learned that despite what my Ob/gyn said I could get pregnant and was! I soon learned that I was very very sick. I learned to love the hospitals because they had the "miracle drugs" to get me to stop puking. I learned I was having a son! I learned how scary it was to be in labor at 26 weeks, I revisisted that feeling at 32 weeks. I learned that I couldn't wait to dig in the dirt and the worms.

In the year 2007, I gave birth to a beautiful blue eyed 5 lb 13.5 oz baby boy, he was gorgeous. I had a son! It really happened, he was here - a son! I never thought I would have a son given that I have 4 sisters, a niece, and a daughter already...I thought I would live the rest of my life in a household full of estrogen. I learned the complete and utter amazement that came over me as my son stared at me for the first time. I learned to breastfeed. I learned patience more than I ever learned before. I learned that my son had developmental delays. I learned that my son LOVED to cry and he cried most of the day. I learned that his Pediatrician never seen a baby cry as much as he did and admitted him into the Children's Hospital for testing. I learned that all tests came back normal and that I just had "a crier" on my hands. I learned patience, did I say that already lol? I learned that I had lost my mind but found my heart and soul...yes again.

In the year 2007, I became pregnant with baby #3..no that's not a typo, it says '2007'. Thru-out my entire pregnancy with #2 my husband would tell people, "She only has 6 weeks and we're gonna do it again!" Well, who would have thought it would really happen? I don't recall the events that took place to prompt me to take a pregnancy test when my son was just 6 weeks old, but I did. It was VERY faint BUT it was there. I showed the test to my husband and my best friend and neither one of them believed that it was positive since it was so faint. They both thought it was the "line that is already there" although it was pink in color. Us three went to Shoney's that morning with my 6 week old infant by my side and we're talking about the pregnancy test and that I can't believe they don't believe me. I call the customer service # on the EPT box and put it on speaker phone so they can hear the lady say, "no matter how faint the line if it's there then it's positive". Well, they STILL didn't believe me...sooo off to the Ob/gyn we went. We get there about 2 hours after my 1st positive pregnancy test at home and I pee on a stick and the nurse comes in and says "it's negative". There's no way - I KNOW what I seen. So, I show her my positive test that I conveniently had in my purse and she schedules a blood test. I learned that I was right. I learned that I was CRAZY. I learned the meaning of "wtf am I going to do now?!" I learned that I would have "Irish Twins".

In the year 2008, I gave birth to a gorgeous blue eyed 8 lbs 0 oz baby boy. Not only did I have one son but now I had TWO. My 10 month old son was in the room when he was born and it was perfect..he just stared at my newborn in amazement, he didn't make a sound. Ten minutes after I gave birth I had my 10 month old son jumping on my bed. I learned that I was now a mother to 3 children and a stepson. I learned that my entire life was going to get a lot more hectic. I learned patience, yes I know I've said it before but hey...you can never learn that one enough. I learned heart ache for my children very soon.

In the year 2008, my 3rd son became ill. We were never able to come home from the hospital after he was born. He never had his first poop, wouldn't breastfeed and was getting jaundice - something was wrong with my baby. The Dr's had us stay an extra day in the hospital waiting for him to poop but he never did. I have never wanted to see a bowel movement so bad in my life before, I was getting very worried. I learned my son was born with Hirschsprung's Disease. I learned that Hirschsprung's Disease is a deadly disease if not treated with proper surgery. I learned the pain of not being able to take my son home. I learned the jealousy and pain of watching my son take his first ride, not in our car, but in an ambulance while he was transferred. I learned the "ins and outs" of the NICU. I learned the pain of having to scrub from fingernails to elbows and put a gown on just to hold my son. I learned that I could only hold MY son at certain times of day. I learned the pain of not being able to nurse my son. I learned the pain of watching my son survive from vitamins being pumped into his system by a plastic tube. I learned to question my beliefs again and ask God WHY. I learned what it felt like to have my world crumble before my eyes. I learned how it felt to sleep in that cold hospital room down the hall from my son. I learned that I had fallen in love all over again with my husband thru this tragic experience. I learned the pain of having to kiss my son goodbye as they wheeled him off to the operation room. I learned that time stood still while staring at the waiting room phone waiting for it ring to let me know my son was okay. I learned that my heart was in the operating room with my son. I learned that was the longest 8 hours of my entire life. I learned the excitement of receiving a call at midnight telling us that my son had POOPED! I learned how quickly we agreed for my husband to drive to the hospital in the middle of night and to give my son his first taste of pumped breastmilk :) I learned the PURE JOY of nursing my son for the FIRST time when he was 11 days old, I could finally sustain my son! I learned that he LOVED breastfeeding and so did I. I learned that I was the happiest Mother on the face of this earth!

My son came home September 15th and that was one of the happiest times of my life! My son was HOME! I will be forever in debt to his surgeon, who blessed my son and enabled him to live his life. My sons troubles weren't over yet :( Pretty soon he was no longer able to pass a bowel movement. He was back in the hospital. His surgeon had never seen this type of complication in a Hirschsprungs baby before and didn't know what to do. His amazing surgeon took my son into his hands and made my son a priority. He researched like a mad man and called a Dr overseas about a report this Dr had published, he held medical conferences regarding MY son and how to heal him. Within a week's time this man had answers for my son!! He had a Manometry test performed to check for a hypersensitive sphincter muscle and it came back positive. His anus muscle was too tight and wouldn't allow stool to pass thru. He underwent anesetia and had his first botox injection into his sphincter muscle. IT WORKED, for 2 months anyways :( He was shortly back in the hospital not being able to poop again, this process was repeated 3 other times. The maximum amount of botox injections he could have was 4 before having to splice his sphincter muscle which could have caused a lifetime of incontinence. The 4th injection was the one that worked FOR GOOD! My son has been a healthy rambunctious little man for over a year now!!

I learned why God put me through everything he did.....I learned the very valuable lesson of, IT CAN HAPPEN TO ME. I no longer have the "it can't happen to me attitude" and it has completely changed my life. I will never look at anything the same again.  I've learned very quickly that our life is not guarenteed.

Think I have my hands full? You should see my heart!

Maple Cream Sauce

Once again, the Maple Cream Sauce is worth blogging about. After making it the other night I have about a cup of it left over and I would absolutely hate for it to go to waste, I mean if I had to throw it away I would lock myself up. So, I've been looking for other desserts to drizzle, okay I mean pour it on. I sent my husband out the other night looking for a blackberry cobbler he never found one so he ended up making his own. Unfortunately, being the first time he's made blackberry cobbler it didn't quite turn out the way he'd planned.

I just made some brownies and underbaked them just a tad so that they were still pretty fudge-y. I poured this cold Maple Cream Sauce over the still warm and ooey gooey brownie and it was decadent, heaven I tell ya. You absolutely have to try this recipe - like now, right this minute, or you will be forever doomed. Okay, not really but you do need to try it, at least once in your lifetime, got it? Good.

You can find the recipe here

Reality Check *Language*

Damn, talk about a reality check, that puts the word "real" into reality. This morning started off pretty rocky for me, as I was just not feeling it. Started off with Jonah coming into my bedroom to wake me up which was nice. I enjoy some quiet time with just one of my sons from time to time, it's so nice and rare that I get to spend time with just one. After coming downstairs and changing his diaper and taking Juno out, Phoenix wakes up. Now, they're both up and let the fighting begin. I change Phoenix's diaper and we go into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. I make us some pancakes, mmm...my first time ever using REAL maple syrup - it was good but tasted a bit like coffee. Before I know it it's 10 a.m. and time for us to watch Price Is Right. It was during this hour that I almost lost it. If anyone knows Jonah and how his temper and stubborness is, they will whole heartedly understand my emotions. My two boys were fighting over something, it's still not clear why or what they were fighting over. I sent my husband a text message, this is what it said "OMG, I'm fixing to have a nervous breakdown! Screaming, crying, toys making noise, banging toys, screaming, stomping. I can't fucking take it anymoooorreeee!" I was so close to losing my cool this morning that it wasn't funny. I needed a Mommy Time-Out and quick! It was so bad that my throat had hurt from yelling. 

Things seemed to calm down a bit. I made the boys lunch and now they are watching Yo Gabba Gabba. I warmed my left over Beef Stew and sit down in front of the computer to eat. It was then that a friend of mine posted a link to this blog and what a reality check and slap in the face it was.

http://kandjstaats.blogspot.com/?spref=fb

Here is an excerpt of this Mothers blog:

"I admittedly ran to my moms classroom and said Maddie stopped breathing she is going to the hospital. I started to grab my stuff and told my mom I couldn't drive myself, so she drove me. We raced to the hospital. When we got there I knew it was bad. The security guard at the front told us to wait for an officer to escort us back. After what seemed like forever the officer told us we can come back. They started to walk around the corner and said no never mind this way and started to open a door. When they started to open the door, I knew she was gone. I started screaming "NO".We sat down on the couch and they told us they did everything they could but she was gone. James wasn't there yet it was just my mom and I. He got there a few seconds later. I was in such shock I couldn't even cry. I just wanted to scream."

After reading the mentioned blog I sat here thinking "What the fuck am I doing? Am I really that fucking stupid to not realize what I have?" Even on days that my boys are under my skin and I'm seconds away from pulling my hair out..I still need to take a moment and realize just how very blessed I am. I write this as my oldest son tries to hit my youngest with a helicopter. I have been known to get so frustrated somedays that I think to myself "I hate my life". There have been a few times that I wish I had a job away from this house so I didn't have to listen to all of the screaming, fighting, yelling, and crying all day long. But then after reading the blog I thought...what if I didn't have to listen to it anymore? What if one of them died? This is a very real possibility as each day is not guarenteed, as it is a gift which is why it's called the "present". I couldn't even tell you how I'd feel, that is something you can't ever put into words and hopefully I never will. I can tell you that I would miss everything about my boys that makes me pull my hair out. I get frustrated, annoyed, and stressed, what parent doesn't right? But I'm making a promise to Maddie that I will forever be grateful of my loud annoying and sometimes weird children, each and every one of them. I will not take them for granted anymore as they are not my children, they are God's and when he wants them home he will take them.

Maddie, you were only here on this earth for a very short 4 months but you have touched my heart forever. God bless you and may you rest in peace and sing with the angels.

OH MY WORD. Peach Crisp with Maple Cream Sauce

Oh my heavens, this dessert is beyond incredible. I mean literally...it was euphoric it was so delicious and that was just the maple cream sauce. You absolutely have to try this dessert. It's not time consuming and actually pretty damn easy. The most time consuming was peeling the fresh peaches but I'm sure frozen peaches would work well...you might want to thaw them in a colander though to get rid of some of the juice, so they're not so wet. I could eat this cream sauce drizzled over a variety of things...any and all cobblers, ice cream, pecan pie, blackberries, strawberries, heck I don't even have to drizzle it over anything I could just eat it out of the bowl - yes it's that good. Please give it a try. It's yum! When you get to heaven make sure you come back and comment on your trip.

Ingredients

■5 whole To 6 Whole Fresh Peaches (best When Not Overly Ripe Or Soft)

■1 cup Flour

■½ cups Sugar

■½ cups Light Brown Sugar, Firmly Packed

■½ teaspoons Ground Cinnamon

■½ teaspoons Ground Nutmeg

■¼ teaspoons Salt

■1 stick Butter (1/2 Cup)

■½ whole Lemon

■7 Tablespoons Real Maple Syrup, Divided

■1-½ cup Whipping Cream

■3 Tablespoons Light Corn Syrup


Preparation Instructions

In a medium bowl, mix flour, sugar, light brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt using a fork or pastry cutter. Cut butter into small pieces and gradually add to flour mixture until evenly mixed.

Peel peaches into a bowl. Add the zest from half a lemon. Squeeze juice from lemon half and stir in with peaches and zest. Add 2 tablespoons real maple syrup to peaches, stir well.

Pour peach mixture into a small pan (8” or 9” square) and cover evenly with crumb topping. Cover with foil and bake at 350ºF for 15 minutes. Remove foil and bake for an additional 20 to 30 minutes or until crisp and brown on top. Or you can bake for about 25 minutes and then crank the broiler on but DO NOT leave the oven to do something else, you will be forever saddened if you burn this sinfully sweet dessert.

Maple Cream Sauce:

Pour whipping cream into a saucepan. Add 5 tablespoons real maple syrup, 3 tablespoons corn syrup and stir over moderate heat until thickened and reduced by about one-third, approximately 15 minutes. Refrigerate mixture until it is cold and thick, or set the saucepan into a small bowl of ice (the ice will melt and turn into ice water). Stirring your mixture, it will cool and thicken in about 15 minutes. Drizzle sauce over peach crisp. Serve warm.

My heart is heavy tonight....

My heart is heavy tonight as I sit and listen to my 3 yr old son, Phoenix cry and cry. I feel soo bad for him because he doesn't have the ability to communicate very well or understand. There have been times where I've wanted to put him in time out instead of spank him but it wouldnt' do any good because he wouldn't understand me when I talked to him about the reason why he was in time out. I just feel so frustrated. I sit and watch Jonah develop beautifully in all aspects..mentally and physically and Phoenix is struggling. Jonah can properly use the pedals on a tricylce and Phoenix still pushes with his feet. Jonah can properly grasp a crayon or other writing utensil as Phoenix still holds it in his fist. Phoenix's delays are becoming more and more apparent with his younger brother surpassing him in almost everything. I feel so bad for Phoenix, my heart hurts for him. Sometimes I get frustrated at him because he can't understand me. I'm sitting here crying in frustration because I don't know what to do. He's had therapy since he was 6 months old until he turned 3 in October and it seemed like he was doing great but now it seems like he's almost going backwards. I just don't understand it. I never thought I'd have a child with delays - it's so heart wrenching, frustrating, and sometimes embarrassing when people who don't understand give dirty looks. I love my little Phoenix so much and I wish he was developing at a normal rate so he could have the chance to excel at stuff. He's 3 now and I would love more than anything to put him in Starter Pee Wee Baseball but he's not developmentaly ready - he wouldn't understand. I just feel like he's missing out on so much and it sucks. It just sucks. I've went thru every emotion when it comes to his delays...even wondering at times if it's MY fault. Do I spend enough one on one time with him? Do I interact with him enough? Am I doing all I can to make sure I am allowing Phoenix his full potential to grow? Why is he like this? Was it something that happened during pregnancy? Was it because I didn't take my prenatals? Was it because of the preterm labor drugs I had to take? There's just so many questions I have but no answers and that's the hard part about it all - WHY is he like this? WHY is it just him and not my other children? What is so different. I'm just so confused, hurt, frustrated. I think we will be taking a visit to the Pediatricians office soon for some better insight. I'm signing off for now.

I love my Bubby.

You Broke Your Child. Congratulations

I ran across Single Dad Laughing Pleading's blog awhile back and this entry spoke volumes to me for various reasons. I had shared it on Facebook at the time but I feel it's time to share it again.
                                                                                                                                    

Parents. Stop breaking your children. Please.

I feel a need to write this post after what I witnessed at Costco yesterday. Forgive me for another post written in desperation and anger. Please read all the way to the end. I know it's long, but this is something that needs to be said. It's something that needs to be heard. It's something that needs to be shared.

As Noah and I stood in line to make a return, I watched as a little boy (he couldn't have been older than six) looked up at his dad and asked very timidly if they could buy some ice cream when they were done. The father glared him down, and through clenched teeth, growled at the boy to "leave him alone and be quiet". The boy quickly cowered to the wall where he stood motionless and hurt for some time.

The line slowly progressed and the child eventually shuffled back to his father as he quietly hummed a childish tune, seemingly having forgotten the anger his father had just shown. The father again turned and scolded the boy for making too much noise. The boy again shrunk back and cowered against the wall, wilted.

I was agitated. I was confused. How could this man not see what I see? How could this man not see what a beautiful spirit stood in his shadow? How could this man be so quick to stub out all happiness in his own boy? How could this man not cherish the only time he'll ever have to be everything to this boy? To be the person that matters most to this boy?

We were three from the front now, and the boy started to come towards his dad yet again. His dad immediately stepped out of the line, jammed his fingers into his son's collar bones until he winced in pain, and threatened him. "If you so much as make a sound or come off of that wall again, I promise you're going to get it when we get home." The boy again cowered against the wall. This time, he didn't move. He didn't make a sound. His beautiful face pointed down, locked to the floor and expressionless. He had been broken. And that's how his father wanted it. He didn't want to deal with him, and breaking him was the easiest way.

And we wonder why so many of our kids grow up to be screwed up.

I'm going to be blunt. People see my relationship with Noah, and quite often put me up on a pedestal or sing my praises for loving him more than most dads love their own kids.

Damn it. I don't understand that, and I'll never understand that. Loving my son, building my son, touching my son, playing with my son, being with my son... these aren't tasks that only super dads can perform. These are tasks that every dad should perform. Always. Without fail. There is nothing special about me. I am a dad who loves his son and would literally do anything for his well-being, safety, and health. I would gladly take a rake in the face or a jackhammer to my feet before I cut my own son down or make him feel small.

[sigh] I am far from a perfect dad. And I always will be. But I'm a damn good dad, and my son will always feel bigger than anything life can throw at him. Why? Because I get it. I get the power a dad has in a child's life, and in a child's level of self-belief. I get that everything I ever do and ever say to my son will be absorbed, for good or for bad. What I don't get is how some dads don't get it.

Parents. Do your faces light up when you first see your child in the morning or when you come home from work? Do you not understand that a child's entire sense of value can revolve around what they see in your face when you first see them?

Parents. Do you not realize that a child is what you tell them they are? That people almost always become what they are labeled? Was whatever your child just did really the "dumbest thing you've ever seen somebody do"? Was it really the "most ridiculous thing they ever could have done"? Do you really believe that your child is an idiot? Because she now does. Think about that. Because you said it, she now believes it. Bravo.

Parents. Do you honestly expect anybody to believe that you can't find 20 minutes to step away from your computer or turn off the television to play with your child? It has to happen every single day. Do you not understand that children will hinge their entire facet of trust on whether or not their dad plays with them and how involved he is when he plays with them? Do you know the damage you do by not playing with your children every day?

Parents. Should anybody buy into this silly notion that anger is sometimes or often necessary? Do you not understand that anger is almost always an emotion for people who wish to control others while simultaneously failing to control themselves? Do you not know that there are incredible books and courses that can teach you better methods? Most importantly, do you not see the speed at which a child is crushed or becomes completely defiant when anger rules the roost? Are you that desensitized to the luminosity of your child's spirit that it doesn't crush you completely when they flinch or cower in your presence? Is that really what you want your child to do? To fear you?

Parents. Do you not realize that your child needs to feel your skin on his? Do you not realize the incredible and powerful bond that skin on skin contact with your daughter will give you? Do you not understand the permanent mental connections that are made when you stroke your son's bare back or rub your daughter's bare tummy while you tell bedtime stories? And if any idiot says anything about that being inappropriate, you're gonna get kicked in the face, first by me, and then by every other good dad out there. Touching your child is your duty as a father.

Parents. Wake up! These precious souls that have been put into your care are unique and so very sensitive. Everything you say or don't say will impact their ability, success, and happiness throughout their entire lives.

Do you not realize that your kids are going to make mistakes, and a lot of them? Do you not realize the damage you do when you push your son's nose into his mishaps or make your daughter feel worthless because she bumped or spilled something? Do you have any idea how easy it is to make your child feel abject? It's as simple as letting out the words, "why would you do that!?" or "how many times have I told you..."

Let me ask you this. Have you ever looked into the swollen eyes of a parent who's child has just died?

I have.

Have you ever cried through a child's funeral?

I have.

Have you ever touched a wooden box with a child inside? A permanent tomb from which another laugh or giggle will never sound?

I have.

If you want the motivation to be the best parent on earth, do that just one time. I pray you never have to.

Parents. It's time to tell our kids that we love them. Constantly. It's time to show our kids that we love them. Constantly. It's time to take joy in their twenty-thousand daily questions and their inability to do things as quickly as we'd like. It's time to take joy in their quirks and their ticks. It's time to take joy in their facial expressions and their mispronounced words. It's time to take joy in everything that our kids are.

It's time to stand up and ask what we can do to be better parents. It's time to get our priorities straight. It's time to come home and actually be a Mom or a Dad.

Parents. It's time to show our sons how to properly treat a woman. It's time to show our daughters how a girl should expect be treated. It's time to show forgiveness and compassion. It's time to show our children empathy. It's time to break social norms and teach a healthier way of life! It's time to teach good gender roles and to ditch the unnecessary ones. Does it really matter if your son likes the color pink? Is it going to hurt anybody? Do you not see the damage it inflicts to tell a boy that there is something wrong with him because he likes a certain color? Do we not see the damage we do in labeling our girls "tom boys" or our boys "feminine" just because they have their own likes and opinions on things? Things that really don't matter?

Parents. Speak softly to your sons. Speak calmly to your daughters. Who do you want your child to be? Do you want him to be the kid at school that sits by himself with absolutely no friends or self esteem? Or do you want him to be the kid running for class office and feeling like he deserves to win it? Do we not see that we have the power to give that to our children? Do we not see that we have the power to teach our children the tools of societal survival?

Parents. Do we not see the influence we have when we say we believe in one thing, but our children see us living something else? Do we not realize how little we encourage our children to actually decide what they believe, declare what they believe, and then live by it? Whether it's religion, politics, sports, or societal norms. It is not our place to tell our kids what to think. It is our place to teach our kids to think correctly. If we do this, we need have no fear of what they will decide for themselves and how strongly they'll stand behind it. A man will follow his own convictions to his death, but he'll only follow another man's convictions until he steps in manure.

Damn it, Parents. Every child has the innate right to ask for ice cream without being belittled and broken. Every child has the innate right to do so without being made to cower in the corner because the man who is supposed to be his hero is actually a small, small man altogether. Every child has the innate right to be happy, and giggle, and laugh, and play. Why aren't you letting them? Every child on earth has the right to a parent who thinks before they speak; a parent who understands the great power that has been given to them to ultimately shape another human being's life; a parent who loves their child more than they love their television shows or sports games; a parent who loves their child more than their material junk; a parent who loves their child more than his time. Every child deserves a superhero parent.

Maybe the truth is that a lot of parents don't deserve their kids.

Maybe the truth is that a lot of parents aren't really Moms or Dads at all.

I apologize for the heatedness of my post. I believe a part of me feels like a coward for not saying something to the man in front of me at Costco. Consider this post to be my penance. Perhaps a part of me feels that if even one person reads this and decides to be a better dad, it was worth every second that I spent typing it. If one child has a better life because something in my words stirred their father to step up their game, then it was worth every ounce of begging and pleading with you to share this with others, of which I am inevitably going to be guilty.

Parents. Children are gifts. They are not ours for the breaking. They are ours for the making. So stand up with me and show the world that there are a lot of good Moms and Dads around.

To the men and women who read this post... married or not... parent or not... please share this even if it doesn't apply to you because you're already all these things. If you've ever seen a father break his child, share it. You never know what child might get their superhero parent back. You never know what tiny spirit might feel just a little more loved because Mom or Dad took the time to tuck her in tonight.

All because you were willing to ask others to read it.

-Dan Pearce, Single Dad Laughing Pleading